The Two Edged Sword of Giftedness

Good ideas, I'm just full of good ideas. Visions of all sorts just pop up before me and it's like I'm suddenly transported into a musical, "....just singin' and dancin' in the rain...". Yeah, it's quite unique to live in this altered reality and sometimes I even get it right.  It's really invigorating to ride the wave of good ideas, especially when the result is hope or joy for someone or other. 

The challenge is that I see the way things could be and it is so alluring that I leap before I get Your input. When I realize what I've done, it cuts me off at the knees. (I did say that I wanted You to lead me, didn't I? Then how do these 'good ideas' play into it?) I get so excited about what I see that it carries me away like "... I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain..." 

'Ah, it would be so grand if....' Did You ever get flashes that tempted You to leap before knowing, I mean truly knowing it was the open door? What I've learned is that even though it is lovely to dream, to see amazing possibilities, (and see a few come to fruition), I have traded something in the process. My faith grid is displaced and I lack the ability to trust myself.

For the most part, others have been touched profoundly with minimal damage ~ I'm so grateful to You for that. But on the other hand, in my personal life, the filters have not been completely changed and I tend to see things not based in the reality of Truth. Then there are those, no matter how few, that I have hurt ~ offended, whose lives are now challenged because of this 'thing' I do.

Well, I'm sorry. Many of the messes I'm in are in are because of my 'good ideas'. I see that now and I'm gonna come clean about it. I know you love me completely and that's why I can be real to my core with You. It hurts me to be deemed not trustworthy because of habitually leaping in a fool hardy fashion, but even more, it places You an inaccurate light. I'm responsible for that, I know. 

It cripples me so much that I am 'gun shy'. Gone are the days of leaping and dancing just to be with You. I weigh everything, I hesitate because of the knot in my stomach, wishing it would all just go away~ that I didn't have to face anyone or anything. Did I realize I would be paying such a high price ~ my freedom? Can you walk me out of this maze I seem to be trapped in?

You say,
"Of course, I can! It is well within My means to set you aright and I will do it gladly. You no longer need to worry about this. It's taken care of and since you have laid yourself open to Me, I now have much room to move. This process is My greatest joy and I find you to be very lovely at this moment, even though you do not. It is my joy to find you, to 'right' you. I know you feel as though you are sinking, but this is the time to lay back on Me and rest. Place those you have wounded inside my heart for safe keeping. I'll take care of them. Yes, you will rise to the occasion once again and by that time, you will realize that I have retrieved your child- heart and placed it within you once again. Just leap..."

I say,
This stuff doesn't shock You, does it?

You say,
"No, not at all. It makes My heart glad to be joined to you and that another part of you has come home to Me."