I was thinking about waring... yes, waring the other day. Being of Hawaiian descent, I have much passion and fire within that sometimes flairs up at the oddest times. As well, feelings of all sorts come rushing up to the surface that I cannot always control, thus I react. I'm not like other people who seem to be in control of their emotions and they navigate their course rather easily without being as affected as I am.
There are plenty of stories throughout the history of my culture of bloody, violent conflicts between Hawaiians and other cultures as well as with each other. I was thinking, '... God you made Hawaiians with fire in their bellies, no doubt, others as well... what of it? What am I to do with this thing inside me? How am I to use this stuff to honor You?'
Please teach me what love looks like in light of passionate feelings. You made me to love deeply, to pray passionately and serve others fervently. When I am wounded, hurt so deeply that I can hardly breath, please change the way I respond to people/ situations. I neither want to fight or flee~ I simply want to draw from a different stream within... from You.
So, teach me how to war in the Spirit from the stream of Your love, from the fire of Your passion and not from the depth of my soul. Will you help me to see 'me' from that place today? Just because I do not fit well in the calm, gentle flow others live in, please help me to give up the self loathing.... to leave it with you and begin to see how I fit in your plan.
"It's a new day, it's time to drop the old stuff you keep talking about and move to a new place with me. I have already set you free.... now you set yourself free and look through the lens of the Truth."
So I once again I feel your incredible approval and grace wash over me. Delight, that's what that is! You delight in me right now and I feel it! Wow, what a great thing to know that not only am I loved, but appreciated for who I am, as complex as I am. Go deep with me, please. Don't just let this settle in my head, but let it go deep inside my heart, completely through my spirit. I don't deserve this love you give me... none of us do....that's what's so great about YOU.
So awesome Kristina, I too am very passionate...I'm on this journey of self discovery and using who I am for God's purpose in me. Sometimes I actually quake and quiver trying to be still and listen to Holy Spirit for the truth and not jump in and put in my two cents, I'm getting better! "Loving Well" is my hearts cry also. So excited for you, what wonderful discoveries and treasures you will find and give on this adventure.
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Waring. Warring. I had to think and do some research ;o) to figure out what you meant. Hm. You sound alot like me! Im descended from the warring Scandinavians and Celts! Is that what it is? I thought I acted this way because Im an American! ;o)
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